Never Say Never: A Journal Entry from a Foster Care Mom

July 5, 2023 at 3am held a very unexpected journey for my family. My husband and I have 3 biological sons, two of which are adults and out of the home, and 3 sons adopted from foster care. Yes, that is 6 boys ages 10-28 which is an adventure of it’s own. My 17 year old son is our youngest biological son and he was front and center in this middle of the night adventure. Here is my account of our new journey in foster care.

At 3am, I was wakened by my son coming into our mudroom with a young girl. Zach’s expression was different, he motioned to the girl, I asked “do you know her?” and he said no. He said she came to his door wanting water and she didn’t want to talk about why she was there. I asked this girl how long she had been walking, she said an hour, she left home at 2am. She had a torn grocery bag with part of an outfit in it, a phone and flashlight in her hands. She didn’t want to tell me why she left home and didn’t want the cops called. I asked her where she was going and she said “McDonalds”. When I asked her why, she replied “to charge my phone”. She was tearful, and I asked her age, she replied “12”. I was still not fully awake, in disbelief that a 12 year old girl was on our doorstep at 3 in the morning. I told her

there is no way I can let her leave and walk these dark country roads at her age and she needed to come inside, that she didn’t have to tell me anything but she needed to rest and be safe until we could figure things out. She came inside, sat at the kitchen table and she plugged in her phone to charge it. The thoughts that I had during this time were overwhelming. Still in disbelief that a child would walk these dark country roads alone at 2am, almost 4 miles and she was planning on walking at least 10 more miles was enough to wrap my brain around. Had she knocked on the “wrong” door, she would’ve disappeared and no one would’ve ever known where she ended up or the horrors she may have faced.

The thoughts of desperation she must have had, that she wasn’t going to go through anymore of “whatever” she has been through, that she left on her own and took her chances with the unknown. When she knocked on Zach’s door, she didn’t know if he was 17 or 27, but she took her chances with this to escape. She had to be the bravest girl I’ve met. She was tired and very nervous but she did open up a little bit. I reassured her she was safe in our home and to try to relax until we figured things out. My mind then started going to foster care. We let our license expire a couple of years ago as we felt we were finished with that part of our life. We gave 10 years, took in almost 20 children and adopted 3. We sold our home and purchased this property a year ago, in the country, away from everything. We felt God brought us here, his country, to raise animals and give our sons a different life, more outdoor exploring, a 114 year old farm house with another small farm house, and although there are 2 houses, there are only 2 bathrooms between the two and no extra bedrooms. How could we be in a situation for her to stay here? Then I remembered a conversation I had several months back with a co-worker. She asked me if we would ever take in anymore children and my response was “we feel we are done with that part of our life. I will never say never because the minute I do, God will show me different, but unless Jesus comes down and says I have a child for you or God puts a child on our doorstep, the answer is no, we wouldn’t take anymore.”………Surely God didn’t just “put this child on our doorstep”.

The next 3 hours were busy. My husband came home from work, a sheriff’s officer was with him. The officer’s presence startled this child but we assured her we had to call and she would be ok. I remember looking this officer in the eyes and telling him… “I don’t know what policy is, but I am telling you now, she is going nowhere until the powers that be figure out a safe place. She is staying here until DSS opens and gets things figured out.” At least 3 other officers arrived during this time, lots of conversations and questions for all of us. We eventually moved from the kitchen to the living room. I had Zach go to his house and get a stuffed animal I had in my Christmas box so she would have something to hold onto as

she was very nervous. She took off her shoes and had horrible blisters on her heels. (Later, we realized her shoes were 3 sizes too small) She had a snack and drinks while we waited for the sheriff’s officers to make calls and ask a lot of questions. The officers called DSS, the social worker was familiar with this child and her mother, she was able to look up our information from serving as foster parents and agreed if we would let her stay then they would send social workers later today to get her. The officers also verified the family member she had been staying with was in their records and was an inappropriate

person to have her with. She had been placed there by her mom’s approval. Multiple officers told her “you are so lucky you knocked on this door tonight”, or “it was a miracle you

ended up with these people”, and “the planets must have aligned just right for you or something for you to come to this house and knock on their door.” Once the officers left, we were almost 4 hours into our adventure. Chris went back to work to finish up so he could get back home. I encouraged her to try to rest as she was so tired. She would close her eyes on the couch and try but just couldn’t settle so we offered her our 9 year old’s bed, and she slept for several hours. I started calling my supervisors and counterparts at work around 5am, to let them know there was no way I could work today as more community workers would be coming by and my lack of sleep. I couldn’t reach anyone, so I called a friend/co-worker to get her to call until she reached someone. She said “this is like a movie, unbelievable.” One of my supervisors returned my call and when asking what was going

on, she said “you are the only person I know who could call and have this story and it be true”. Two social workers showed up mid-morning. We spoke outside, and gave information from the happenings of the morning. When one asked us how we were related to this child and we said we weren’t, her next question was” how do you know her?” We replied we didn’t and she then asked if our 17 year old knew her from school and we told her no. “No one knew this child, she just showed up”. They were beside themselves. We reminded these two workers that whatever they need, we are good with providing for her as long as she is safe. One social worker said “we know you are attached….”, at which I did reply “ no, we aren’t attached, we just met her hours ago, but we know the system and she is the perfect age to get trafficked, so we are willing to provide a safe place for her if it prevents that.” The social workers left to meet with the family member that she ran from and would return to get her and place her with her grandmother. It was an hour or so before they returned, we woke her up, gathered her belongings and provided a backpack for her to carry everything in along with band-aids for her heels and they drove away.

Later that day, we received a call that the grandmother can’t take her and they had no other home for this child, could they bring her back to us, of course we said yes. About two weeks later we had a social worker pull up, unannounced to check in on how things were going with our new house guest. This worker had visited her a year ago in her mother’s home so she was familiar. In asking me questions, how are you related , do you know her, etc., the reaction was great, she was amazed that this little girl ended up at our house with no relationship at all to us. I won’t forget her saying “have you seen the movie Sound of Freedom? ... another child saved”. She also said, when she found out we had 6 sons, “God may have just given you a daughter”. This worker said she got chills hearing about the morning she showed up and after talking with her, seeing her and checking our home, said “if it were up to me, she would stay here and never leave, she is happy and that wasn’t what I saw a year ago.” So now we adjust to life with a 12 year old girl. We continue to pray and wait for God to show us his plan. I think we kind of know but we will save that subject for another time.