Valley + View: A Fostering Futures Take: Welcome To Their Valley

What is a valley? A valley is the metaphoric imagery of being down, the implication of having to overcome obstacles, basically being in between the peaks, where you’re not quite on the mountaintop, and where the view is the ultimate prize or victory. It’s very similar to the old adage, “Life is about the journey and not the destination.” This theme of journeys, destinations, valleys, and views has been dominant this year in more ways than one. The theme for us started when a friend of ours recently launched a podcast, literally called Valley + View, in which it offers different perspectives of everyday people with their valleys and views of life and the faith that got them through it and to it. No sooner had she launched her podcast, Stephanie (co-founder) sent a sermon unbeknownst to us that the topic would be about valleys and views. Since then, this has been a dominant topic in conversations between Stephanie and I. It is what serves as the inspiration for this blog post. One day we will share those details, but for now, we encourage everyone to check out the podcast and the sermon when you have a moment to spare. Details for both are below.

Our journeys may all start out the same, as far as simply being born, but that’s where it ends. After that, the depths of the obstacles to overcome become the valley, and the time it takes to overcome the valley effectively becomes the journey. For some kids, their journeys may have immediate valleys in the form of health and medical needs, none of which they chose. Fast forward some years and some kids' valleys and journeys may involve sickness, poverty, neglect, violence, addictions, other traumas, and you guessed it, foster care, again none of which they have chosen. To put this into context, do you know the impact that these environments will have on you, your overall health, and your well-being? As adults, many of us work, so some of us can relate to the fact of how important our work environment is to us. If it's toxic, chaotic, stressful, or causes imbalance, many choose to leave and seek employment elsewhere and as a result, will see improvement in their health. In another scenario, imagine believing you were a valuable employee, only to find yourself removed from a team or department and moved elsewhere, maybe to a different office location or maybe even laid off. Take that same concept and apply it to a kid's perspective, but know that this isn’t a situation that they can just leave, at least not of their own choosing. Imagine being pulled from the only place they may have known as home, to be placed in a home with a family they’ve never met. I would expect the child to feel nothing short of being scared and anxious and that’s even with a good foster family. Did you know that a child’s worldview is developed by the time they’re 7 to 9 years old? For those that don’t know what worldview means in reference to children, it means their perception of the environment in which they’re raised is what will determine their values, priorities, and how they perceive the world around them and how it operates. That perception though may become their reality. How can we expect them to know how to navigate a world that is foreign to them if all they know is how to operate and interact based on the environment they’ve grown up in? How can they thrive, if all they know how to do is survive? Welcome to their valley.

Let me preface the rest of this blog post with, we wish and pray that no one’s journey or valley involves abuse, neglect, assault, loss, hardship, separation, or anything that would cause pain, heartache, strife, and struggle. In our non-profit journey, one thing I don’t think any of us could fully mentally prepare ourselves for is the stories and experiences of others that we hear. Therefore, we don’t take it lightly when others’ life journeys or valley seasons and experiences are shared with us. We’re honored for those that have trusted us to share their story with us so far. We can’t change what has already happened, but we can and will promise that we will do our best to help those in a valley get to their view, to hopefully bring them redemption from their trials, and to be their voice when called.

In this blog post, we’re going to be sharing some details that have been entrusted to us, with hopes that it gives us all a much needed reminder that not all of us have had the same life experiences and, for some, getting out of the valley may be much harder for some than others. The view is not ours alone, it's meant to be shared but so is the valley. While we may not be able to take away the hardship or the circumstances that a person is facing or is in, we can help them navigate through it, maybe by bringing resources to them or just by simply being there, so they know that they’re not alone. Personally, I think what has surprised me most was that we didn’t have to go far to get these stories. Below and in part two of this blog, we’re going to share some of the valley details from 2 amazing ladies. If you know us, then you most likely know them. You might have dined with them, attended church with them, traveled with them, or worked with them, just like we have. In spite of everything they’ve experienced, though, I think they’ve made it to their mountaintops with metaphoric and quite possibly literal scars to show for it. And for that and that alone, I couldn’t be more proud of them.

I’ve had the privilege and honor of knowing both of these individuals for a couple of years now, in very different capacities. One I met through Stephanie (co-founder), and she has quickly become a dear friend as well. She’s prayed over me, my family, and our organization. The second, I’ve worked and traveled with, and in just a couple of weeks, we will be celebrating with her as she’s expecting her 3rd child.

Their valleys are similar, yet different. One was placed in foster care based on a false accusation. The second was never fully placed in foster care, but DSS had her pulled multiple times and placed her in emergency care until kinship care was established and/or reunited with her mother. The first experienced her abuse in foster care causing a life-long impact. The second continued to experience years of neglect and trauma that would make a life-long impact. One was finally reunited with her father after several painful years of being separated. The second witnessed her mom overdose on more than one occasion, didn’t have an active father present, and ultimately ended up in a kinship care situation with her grandmother following the death of her mother. Her valley continued though when the care she received from her grandmother entailed nothing more than a bed to sleep in and a roof over her head for a couple of months. Outside of that, the grandmother made it known that she was nothing more than a burden, despite her willingness to work two jobs and go to school. After only a couple of months, she moved out on her own only to later find out that her grandmother had been cashing in the social security checks from her mother that were intended for her. For both of these ladies, this was their valley and journey all before the age of 18. Both still deal with the lifelong implications of their childhood experiences that they did not choose.

Unfortunately, there are so many others out there with similar, if not worse, valleys. This is why early childhood development is imperative. If left unresolved, it creates a domino effect that can affect local communities and the generations to come. This is also why the foster care system is in desperate need of our help. Christy Roessler of Foster Families Alliance says it best, “Not everyone can foster, but everyone can help.” So even if you can’t foster, you can help in other ways, so please reach out to us directly on how you can help these kids overcome their valleys and help them get to their views.

Stay tuned for next month’s blog post as we navigate our way to their views and take a look back on their journeys so far.

-TO BE CONTINUED-

Mentioned:

Sermon:

Social Dallas | Travis Greene | “Give God Something to Fill”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ38V5OY-Pw&list=PL456Ngh2rEIjLsXYBsmjMYIdbngcdWjj8&index=1

Podcast:

Valley + View: Hosted by Betsy Rumley

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6YsjTbCHwtZj8JGxhK4idS?si=7a02548da19a4c1a

Foster Family Alliance of NC: https://www.ffa-nc.org/